Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Suck IT Lederer

Full Tilt hates me.

A red phone rings. A hand reaches out from a deep sleep and answers "Hello?".
An gruff voice on the other line responds, "Mr. Lederer, he is on the grid, sir". "Have you called Ferguson and Gordon?", asks Howard Lederer. "I will call them next sir". "Very well, thank you Mr Matusow, back to work". "Yes sir" and Howard hangs up the phone.

Howard gets up from bed, grabs a robe to cover his naked body, and stumbles over to a grand fire place that has been imported from Italy. It is old and made of the finest marble. Hand crafted by gypsy artisans. It is worth more than most peoples cars, but money is not an object for Howard. He makes fireplaces in mere minutes in rake. It bores him.

He glance over his shoulder to make sure his wife is sleeping. Satisfied, he reaches up and and pivots a small painting that hangs on the wall above the mantle. The safe that is revealed has a keypad. He punches in the numbers, 4 8 15 16 23 42 and the safe opens with a small click. Inside reveals only a single red raised button. Howard checks his wife once more and pushes the button. The whole fire place from the floor to ceiling swings silently as it rotates Howard into a small room on the other side of his bedroom. He steps off the hearth as the fireplace continues silently to its original position.

A motion detection light flickers on to reveal a grand staircase the descends into the darkness. Howard ties his robe as he starts down the stairs Lights in front of him illuminate and the ones behind flicker off. He comes to the bottom of the stairs and is greeted by Mike Matusow. The Mouth is sitting behind a plain office desk. The desk is adorned with only a lap top and a Full Tilt coffee mug. "Hello sir" "Hello, Mike. What is he playing?" "He's in the $20K Rush rebuy sir". He is doing quite well". "Okay, are the others on the wall yet? Mike checks his laptop, "Coming on line now sir". "Very well" says Howard as strides to the door. He enters another code and the lock buzzes and the door slips ajar. Mike gets up and follows Howard to the door. Howard stops and with a scowl asks "What are you doing?" Mike stammers and says "I I I j j j ...just thought..." Howard cuts him off mid sentence. "Have you payed me back the two mill I loaned you to pay Forest? Have you?" Mikes eyes go to the floor as he answers a sullen "No". Howard's eyes bulge and his brow raises as he forcibly pushes Matusow back towards his desk. "Get your ass back to that seat and get me my money" Mike mutters "Yes sir" and skulks away.

The door swings in as Howard enters the room. He takes his annoyance at The Mouth out on the door as it slams hard against the frame. In front of him is an array of large televisions on the opposite wall. On one of the monitors is Chris Ferguson. On another is Phil Gordon. Lederer takes a seat at a large desk command station that has a commanding elevated view of the monitors. He looks much like a one man mission control. "Hello gentleman" as he sits down. Phil asks, "Where the hell have you been?" "Yeah" says Jesus. "It was fucking Matusow. He wanted to come in". "Did you tell him to get his ass back to work and get us our fucking money?" asks Gordon. "Yep" answers Howard. Jesus just chuckles.

Howard says "Give me a second" as a porn starts playing on the the biggest monitor. "That's better. Now lets begin."

"Where is he?". "He's table sixty one, seat eight 20K rebuy" answers Jesus. "How do you want to play it tonight?" Gordon asks the other two. "I say we end it quick, I am tired" answers Howard. "Naw, we are already up and I am kind of excited" pips in Jesus. "Me too" says Gordon "Let's make it last" as he unbuckles his pants. "Fine" says Howard..

"Okay, lets start off with a little hit just to warm up." smirks Lederer. As he presses a button on the panel, table 61 pops up on a large monitor right below the porn. All the players cards are revealed. "Ohh, I see Mike was right. MorningThunder has over thirty thousand. Easily in the top fifty." chuckles Jesus. "lets do something about that." murmurs Lederer as his robe falls open.

On the monitor with porn, a woman is exposing herself to the camera as an unseen man directs her every movement. The poker screen shows MorningThunder with pocket kings. Steve 1256 has QQ and a stack of about seven thousand. The flop comes king seven two. "Do it." Jesus spits as his pants slide down to his ankles. Howard hits a button and a queen falls on the turn. "Yeah" whispers Gordon. "One more". Lederer hits another button and the case queen hits the board. "Oh yeah" the threesome moans as their hands slide down their respective bellies and come to rest on their cocks.

"Now tease him". blurts Ferguson. "Make him think all is well with a huge draw". Lederer types in more commands. The porn screen shows a woman orally administering a huge cock. The poker screen shows MorningThunder with a king and queen of spades. UpayMyTuition has a ace and a jack of different suits. It is limped pre flop. The flop is jack ten three with two spades. Money is bet. The turn is another three. UpayMyTuition bets and MorningThunder pushes all in, his tournament life on the line. On the porn screen the woman is choking on the male porn stars huge member. He is holding her head and it appears that she will soon pass out or vomit all over his crotch. The threesome moan as they lather their hands and start stroking their cocks with lotion. "Not yet" purrs Phil. "You bet" whispers Lederer as he delivers the ace of spades on the river.

"Now another little hit" coos Jesus. Howard types with his left hand and the poker screen flashes. MorningThuder has 99. SeniorPoopPants has JT and moves in his short stack from the button. MorningThunder calls. The porn screen shows the the woman being penetrated from behind. The camera zeroes in on her nether regions. The male stud abruptly withdraws his cock from her pussy. The poker monitor shows a flop of 973. The turn is a two. "Yeah" sputters Lederer as his breathing increases. On the porn screen, the male model violently shoves his cock up the unsuspecting starlets ass. She screams as does the three poker stars. The river brings the eight of clubs. "That is so hot" murmurs Gordon. "I am almost there" echoes Ferguson. "Just one more" moans Lederer.

The poker screen blips and MorningThunder has KK. TooPhat238 is under the gun with a jack and two of spades and limps in. Three others limp. MorngingThunder raises to ten times the blind. The blinds fold and TooPhat238 calls. All others fold. The porn is really going now as the male is pounding her ass over and over. It is hard to tell if she is enjoying it or just crying from pain. The flop comes ten four two with no spades. TooPhat238 checks. MorningThunder bets the pot and is called. The turn is the three of clubs. On the porn screen the dude is grunting wildly and really slamming her ass. She is falling off the arm of the couch and begging for him to stop. He ignores her. The threesome are beating off furiously now. "Almost there" cries Ferguson. "Do it" moans Gordon. Lederer uses his left hand to hit the last key. The key that will put them over the edge. MorningThunder moves all in. TooPhat238 calls.

A guy is sitting in his apartment in New York City. He is yelling at his screen. "What the fuck Full Tilt? I pressed fucking fold. I pressed fucking fold every time. Why won't you FOLD?!!!!!" On the porn the stud removes his cock and fires jizz all over the starlets asshole, back, and pussy as she groans. The river comes. But it does not come immediately. It waits a tantalizing, agonizing two seconds to reveal the two of diamonds. They can not hold it off anymore. Howard, Phil and Chris, erupt simultaneously in a cyber circle jerk frenzy. A guy in a New York City apartment jumps up and down in sheer joy. He is now in the top ten in chips and goes on to win the tournament. A nice four thousand dollar score. The porn star grabs the the porn starlet by the hair and shoves his cock in her mouth. And somewhere, in eastern Kansas, a lap top smashes against a fire place.

The three poker magnates compose themselves and sign off while avoiding contact. Howard cleans up the mess he has made, using his robe as a towel. He exits the room and throws the soiled robe in Mikes face. "Clean that for tomorrow". "Yes sir" gasps The Mouth as he breathes the robe in deeply.

Lederer ascends the stairs as lights go on and off. He hits a button and returns to his room. He climbs into bed and dreams of how he would like to fuck MorningThunder in person.


matt tag said...

quite imaginative. Excuse me, I have to go vomit now

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

This is one of the best posts I've read in some time. Definitely linking to this from my blog today. Thanks so much for describing in detail what so many of us have thought of countless times over the past several years.

Memphis MOJO said...

I've been out of town and read this from my iPhone. Now I'm back and had to come read it again on the computer -- terrific post.