Thursday, August 14, 2008

Odds and Ends

Random thoughts aboot everything. Here is to you Canada.

I saw I am Legend the other day. Much better flick than I had anticipated. Only a few problems though. Why doesn't Will Smith have a better final fall back position? Bank vault comes to mind. Super panic room? Furthermore, where are all the bones of the dead? Do the zombies eat bones? And how does the coal shoot, one, protect them from the blast and two, protect them from the zombies that were not killed? And how does the lady show up and save old Will? The light on the SUV must have been a super light. Seeing as how the zombies totally attacked the light at Will fortress at the end. Maybe zombies just don't like being surprised.

You know the Vagasil commercial that sells the decoder ring that can tell you if you have a yeast infection. You know the one that says not all itching and odor is a yeast infection. Yeast infection. There, I said it again. Because sometimes the symptoms of yeast infection do not necessarily mean a yeast infection. Yeast infection. And dammit you need to know. The real question is, if not that, then what in the world is wrong with you? They never tell you. Is there some super secret vaginal issue that can not be talked about in the open? I asked my wife if you have the symptoms and do not have a yeast infection, does it mean the hoo ha is gonna fall off? She just smiled knowingly and shrugged off the question. Conspiracy.

In that vein, how about the one where the hottie looks great but feels horrible. Fernando would tell her it's better to look good than to feel good. The odor, the itch that can't be scratched. First, I can honestly say that I have never been close to a woman and thought, man you need to douche and it may not be a yeast infection. Second. is there really an itch you can not scratch? Couldn't you get up in there and take care of business? I bet bobby bracelet could. Just saying.

Or...the one where the guy is watching t.v and the totally hot middle aged wife asks the stereotypical male if he is ready to go. You know dwarfish, and balding. Wearing 2o year old flannel. Cuz.... you know... all men are pigs. He stammers and says yes and pulls out what appears to be a cologne sample from a magazine. He proceeds to wipe himself down. Announcers say all men suck. You are a woman and you have a douche in a wipe. You can be fresh. Fuck you Summers Eve. Soaking baby wipes in douche sauce and calling it fresh is such horse shit. You have to make men look like dirt bags to sell it. I am gonna market Axe flavored baby wipes and have the same dwarfish dude wipe himself down. Then his hottish 40 something wife smells him and finally agrees after 18 years of marriage to do anal. That, my friends, is how to sell baby wipes and pizza.

Maybe you Hollywood types can help me out here. Why does it seem that the same guy or gal gets all the commercial work over a given space of time. The McDonald's coffee guy is doing Starburst ads. The Verizon wireless dad is on another commercial I can't think of now. The pissed off mistress in the gum commercial is screaming at a squirrel in another ad. Happens all the time. What's the deal? There is not a shortage of waiters/actor in L.A. Are directors just lazy? Or do they want me to drink Starburst flavored coffee?

Have you seen the Pizza Hut ad where the father gets dinner for the whole family and the mom acts like he is a god. You just know later she is finally gonna let him do anal. If only Pizza Hut had put out a family deal sooner. You watch a lot of day time television during the week and this is a recurring theme. Husband is an idiot, wife fixes everything. Husband can't wash off whole cake from dish? No problem, wife knows about Cascade Complete. Blah blah blah. Obviously never been to my house.

Random fact about me. I am eating a steak right now. My Mom taught me well. I cut a piece off and put my knife down. Switch my fork to the other hand and consume the piece. But not tonight. Tonight I am cutting and shoveling. Feels so naughty not switching hands. Only do it whilst dinning alone. I know, I know, I'm a bad ass.




Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Played my home game last night. It caught up to me. I have probably taken $700 off the two home game I play in the last 2 months. I gave $80 back.

QQ got cracked twice by AQ and A4. Ace on flop. AK got cracked by 87s when he called pf raise and two raises on an A45 board.

I got great cards last night and got slaughtered.

Did get in bad with 77 vs 88. Read him as weak, just not weak enough. KJc vs 33 couldn't take out a shortie.. AQs vs 99 couldn't flip out and ended my night.

One long session, right? AA and KK twice didn't see action. 55 twice no set.

Fun game


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Vegas Year is over?

I don't know what he thinks he is doing. His blog is not about him. It has and will continue to be about my reading enjoyment. Damn it Robert.

If you do not know, it appears that the Vegas Year is over. I had a feeling it was coming and not just because it had gone into extra innings. Post were becoming fewer and less frequent.

Most blogs are like this one. Exceedingly boring to read and with very little relevance. TVY was different. It made me want to go to Vegas. It made me feel like I was there. It was a blog I wish I could write. Robert did an exceedingly good job of putting the reader at the table with him. It was like putting on a virtual Robert suit and playing poker.

Good luck Robert.

How is The California Year sound? eh?